The Death of Sarcasm

Necronom IV by H.R. Giger

Save us, Weyland-Yutani

Recently, I’ve been reading comments like this on way too many online discussions: “if any one company knows what’s best for humankind, that’s Weyland-Yutani.” /s.

Ok. I’m not reading exactly that, and my point is not the content but the XML-esque /s at the end. Any earthling moderately familiar with this Internet thing should know by now that this is the way of marking an expression as sarcasm.

Please, don’t do that. You’re killing sarcasm.

Sarcasm, to work its magic, needs to be subtle, even mistaken for a fact. Good sarcasm lingers in your mind. Effective sarcasm makes people think, wake up, react. Want to be sarcastic? Respect your part of the deal and do it correctly.

If everybody starts marking sarcastic expressions as such—some dudes have even proposed irony punctuation—I predict a dramatic increase in the number of lazy, I-just-saw-the-headline skimmers, a group that’s already dangerously growing.

Don’t you think we’ve already got too many motherfuckers regurgitating other motherfuckers’ opinions?

Are the sarcasm markers of the world in a quest to protect those who are offended by everything, everywhere, at every time? That crazy, sensitive bunch can’t take jokes anymore and we’re going to let not only sarcasm but also wit die because of them? Hell no!

Perhaps it’s time to put more pressure on Weyland-Yutani to hurry up and bring those admirable creatures to our cities. To our cozy living rooms and kitchens. I’ve read the most recent report and the possibilities are limitless. Can’t hardly wait.

Published in opinion and writing

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